Here are some of the things I can do, and evidence that I can do them sometimes.
Hey. If you’re looking for my copywriting work, look no further; it’s right here. Whether you’re looking for a cynical and gloating tone or a gloating and cynical tone, I’ve got you covered.
But you wanna be cool? Maybe modern, innovative, down with da kidz? Maybe I can help. An understanding of just how cringey everything is in 6 months’ time allows me to ignore all that and continue to YEET those dead memes at unsuspecting strangers. True, I’m sticking to “correct” punctuation here, but hey, it’s a paragraph, and I want you to not immediately hate me lol. And where would we be without emoji? 👍 idk, in a functional society maybe
If it is a corporate tone that you require, I may be able increase the company’s pomposity budget. This, coupled with our investment in targeted marketing, is likely to boost our reputation as a company. In fact, it is guaranteed. Profit. Accounts. Synergy. Corporate-speak may well be a façade under which lies a tired worker, but it is vital to a company’s appearance and reputation.
Aaron Lott, experienced waffler
Turn it up. Things are getting dramatic around here. Speak in short sentences. Be concise. The world’s never seen it before. Something new? You bet. Tired of reading this? You bet. But effective? You bet. Cue the music. Lights, camera, action.
Say nothing. Louder.
I … once got three likes on an Instagram post.
Dispensing with my safety blanket of jokes for one moment, though, I have a good understanding of typography and page layout, as well as copywriting and—to a lesser extent—voiceover (more on that below). With this knowledge, along with experience I’ll pick up from this academic year, I can throw together a pretty decent banner or poster (and write the text for it, too).
Having experimented with running my own radio station on and off for the past year, I am now reasonably adept at cueing tracks to be played, talking about current events, and getting very angry at my computer. I’ve developed a good understanding of subject–microphone placement, and I have a basic but solid understanding of microphones in general, as well as how to use audio equipment.
Here’s a thingy I made. It was written and recorded late at night, and not in the quietest of rooms. Still, it should give you an idea of how I sound, and thus why you’d be mistaken to hire me!
This album cover I created was not incredibly significant to the Media course, nor is it significant if you want a marketing guy, but it is something I’m quite proud of nonetheless. There are aspects that could be improved—such as the way the sections of the image blend together—but I still think it looks rather professional.